“How are we going to go to four Thanksgiving dinners?”

“It’s not four, is it?”

“Lane’s house, Sookie’s, and we always stop by Luke’s. That’s three, and grandma and grandpa is four.”

In the TV series ‘Gilmore Girls,’ there is a comical episode in which Rory (the main character) and Lorelai (Rory’s mother) are invited to four different Thanksgiving feasts and successfully manage all those meals.

This hilarious mother and daughter jumped into the adventure so they wouldn’t let down the friends and family they love. I hope you had a great time with your loved ones this holiday, no matter how much they fed you.

This was my first Thanksgiving in the U.S., and I was alone and yet not alone at the same time. On Thanksgiving day, I spent time with myself. I woke up late, thankful for it being a holiday, and then caught up on some chores and errands that I had been procrastinating on during the weekdays. I went out to get some groceries and found out that most of the stores were closed – I was able to get the stuff I needed, though.

The streets were filled with silence, only one other passenger was on the bus besides me, and turkey-shaped signs on the doors were saying that they would be back after the holiday was over. Even stores with Black Friday sale posters were firmly closed. I had expected this scenery, but it was much emptier than I had imagined, and I felt like I was in the middle of an apocalypse film. The sound of rustling leaves intensified the atmosphere.

On Friday, I took the train heading to my aunt’s house in Orange County, and I spent three days with her family. We had Shabu-Shabu for the Thanksgiving dinner, which is a sort of hotpot dish with boiled meat and vegetables in broth. We didn’t choose to grab a turkey this year, but we still had a festivity.

My aunt migrated to the U.S. before I was born, so there were only a few times I met her before coming to San Diego. But that was not a big deal. I felt assured that there was a family that I could contact within this huge country. I felt thankful that I could spend this grandiose holiday not alone. I felt grateful that I could yell ‘I can’t eat anymore,’ clutching my stomach.

Earlier that day, I took a walk around my aunt’s place and saw some other families gathering in their front yard. That scene reminded me of the Thanksgiving in Korea.

In Korea, we celebrate ‘Chuseok,’ which is also a harvest festival. Chuseok is one of the biggest holidays, along with ‘Seollal,’ the Korean New Year’s Day. Chuseok means ‘the night of all moonlight,’ which indicates the night with a full moon in the middle of autumn. It falls on Aug. 15 in the lunar calendar and usually in September in the solar calendar.

We have a holiday on each side of Chuseok, and it is a tradition for all the family members to gather together. Families visit the graveyard of their ancestors and set a meal for them as a ritual to appreciate their ancestors for taking care of the family throughout the year. There is an old belief that the souls of ancestors will visit this world and enjoy the feast. For this reason, some families prepare the food their ancestors liked during their lifetime. Every member bows deeply to their ancestors and expresses respect by pouring a cup of Soju (Korean distilled alcoholic beverage) on the grave. After the ceremony, the family members share the food they prepared.

Nowadays, social trends have changed, and many families find meaning in spending time together rather than strictly adhering to the tradition. Some take trips during long holidays, and others have dinner together at home or a nice restaurant. Some Christian families choose to go to church instead of graveyards, and families of other religions also practice their traditions.

This year, Chuseok was at the end of September, and I was in language school at that time. Since China also celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival (Zhong qui jie) on the same day as Chuseok, a teacher suggested throwing a little snack party together. It was meaningful to celebrate our festival with people from other cultures, albeit without spending time with my family.

No matter what we do and no matter what we eat, Thanksgiving is for people who care for each other. You can be at a family gathering, have a party with friends, or invite neighbors to your place. You can cook turkey by following the tradition, or you can have any other food you would like to grab a bite.

Now all I have to do is lose some holiday weight and wait for the next one, Christmas.

Kyungmin Min is an international intern from Korea.