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I turned 71 in June and am pleased about it. Sure, I have my share of wrinkles and gray hair, but I feel youthful and healthy. In the recent past, I’ve given workshops like “The Joys of Getting Older” and “The Art of Aging Well.” I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned in those workshops and my 25-plus years as a San Diego psychotherapist—in hopes it will be useful to you, too.
I invite you to consider these ideas for how to stay mentally youthful and healthy.
Meditate
It helps you listen to your body, tell yourself the truth about what’s happening inside you, and gain clarity on your desires, motivations and fears. Meditation has been proven to help relieve stress, decrease chronic pain, improve sleep and slow cognitive decline.
Pay attention to your body, but don’t obsess!
Take care of your health so you don’t worry unnecessarily. But don’t weigh yourself too often. Let your clothes be your guide. If they don’t fit comfortably, decide how you’d like to handle that. Exercise is wonderful, but it only works in the long run if you find something you enjoy. Try new ways of stretching, strengthening and moving your body. Experiment and keep yourself interested.
Notice what you eat
Try this Zen eating exercise: only eat when you’re paying attention to what you’re eating. Most of us can only eat about three bites (of anything) before we start to zone out. When that happens, stop and refocus. Come back to the present moment. Ask yourself: Do I really taste what I’m putting in my mouth right now, or am I just shoveling it in on auto-pilot? This has been very helpful for me with curbing my sweet tooth, after the first three bites of dessert/candy/chocolate, I’m usually over my “craving” and can leave the rest alone. This exercise helped me kick an “addiction” of wolfing down a pint of ice cream every night after work.
Sit still for a minute or two whenever you can.
It’ll calm you down and lower your blood pressure. You can focus on your breathing or just stare into space. Slow down and do nothing: it’s good for your health!
Be a little goofy
Let go of the “seriousness” of life. Can you laugh at silly things you do? Try it and watch your blood pressure drop and that crease in your forehead disappear. Let yourself be more playful: childlike, not childish. Sing or dance when no one’s listening or watching. Do it just for yourself.
Cultivate friendships with two or three people who really love you
Do you have someone you can call at 2 a.m. to take you to the ER or someone who will come over ASAP if you’re in a crisis? If not, then you may want to cultivate more meaningful friendships. It takes time and energy, don’t kid yourself. Close friendships unfold over time, but your intention matters. Make an effort to be around people you really love and see who loves you back.
When in doubt, try moderation
A little dessert, one glass of wine, one morning to lie in bed, one afternoon to do nothing but read “fluffy” books or magazines. Moderation is a wonderful thing. Living in the extremes is exhausting.
Keep exercising your brain
If you keep doing the same old stuff over and over, it’s not surprising that you’re bored. Take a class or learn a new sport or skill; cultivating new skills is like aerobics for your self-esteem. You need new challenges to master to stay alive, sharp and youthful. Keep that beautiful brain of yours stimulated!
If you love your work – don’t retire!
I find my work so stimulating that there’s no way I want to quit. However, I do enjoy working less. And you? Would you enjoy working part-time or a few hours a week, or volunteering? You may not need the money, but your body/mind/spirit needs the stimulation!
Give of yourself
This is the fastest way out of self-pity (which is terribly aging). Get out there in the world and help someone else. You don’t need to be Mother Theresa to make a difference. Got an hour or two a month? Some worthy organizations would love to have you. Volunteering keeps you youthful. Whether you’re 18 or 80, give of yourself. You want to feel valuable and appreciated at every age. Regardless of your age or financial situation, do something that makes your heart happy.
Try these ideas and see if you don’t feel healthier (mentally and physically) and more alive and youthful.
Enjoy!