She had been beat down from the start.

The gold buckle on her father’s belt left its mark. His fists, too. Sexual assault by family members added to the trauma.

“I’m a survivor of many things,” Kimberly Knopik said.

Prison stints, drug addiction and other trials have given her hard won street cred as a substance abuse disorder counselor at Father Joe’s Villages. People on the street see that Knopik knows their struggles.

The state recognized her achievements, too, by awarding her a scholarship of $25,000 through California’s Department of Health Care Access and Information and the Children and Youth Behavioral Health Initiative. The scholarship allowed her to catch up on bills, buy a computer and put money aside. 

“I cried,” Knopik said when she was awarded the grant. “I never knew how to apply for anything before let alone get something for it.”

The scholarship was designed for people like Knopik, said Hovik Khosrovian, policy section chief for the Department of Health Care Access and Information.

“Our focus is to have health care providers who can speak to patients,” Khosrovian said. “People with similar experiences and representative of the community they serve.”

Knopik came up on the streets. By the time she turned 15 she was smoking marijuana, using meth and PCP. She also became active in gangs in Oceanside where she grew up.

“In those days,” Knopik, 56, said, “what went on in the house stayed in the house. No one knew I had mental health issues until I went to prison.”

In 1986, she was convicted of 22 felonies, including 13 commercial burglaries, four counts of forgery and three counts of receiving stolen property among other crimes. She served two years in prison. During her incarceration, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder among other mental health issues. 

“I didn’t think too much about those things,” Knopik said. “There were more drugs in prison than out here so I didn’t address my problems.”

From her first incarceration to 2017 she rotated in and out of prison. During that time she had a daughter but her criminal convictions made her absent much of the time. Her daughter stayed with Knopik’s mother and sister. Now, 32, her daughter manages a restaurant. She has never been in trouble.

Knopik’s life changed for the better in 2019. San Diego police arrested her when she picked up a friend in prison. They found heroin and marijuana in her car but instead of prison, she went through drug court and entered a halfway house. 

“Those officers rescued me,” she said.

In 2021, she returned to school and will graduate in December with a certificate in Alcohol and other Drugs Studies. Last March, she began working for Father Joe’s Villages.

“I hadn’t been to school in 35 years,” Knopik said. “I didn’t know computers or anything.”

She sees her daughter and tries to be a better grandmother to her grandchildren than she was as mother to her. 

“I love my daughter,” she said, “and when I see my grandkids, I fall in love with them every time. I was absent for my daughter, I won’t do that to them.”

Knopik’s past shadows her. She doesn’t trust people easily and doesn’t date. She sees a therapist and participates in 12-step programs and attends a church. At work, she sees herself in the faces of the people she tries to help. She calls the area around Father Joe’s Villages “the belly of the beast.” The streets come to life at night. Fighting, drug deals. The life she once lived scares her.

“Honestly, it’s hard work being on the street and time consuming,” she said. “Today you’re good, tomorrow not so much. Might have to do a crime to get some money. Now, I go to work, clock in, clock out, get a check. Easy. No brainer.”