OCD is probably something you’ve heard of before – In casual conversation, online, or in the media, it’s not uncommon to see the phrase “I’m so OCD” used to mean “I’m a perfectionist” or “I like when things are clean”.
But if a loved one were to tell you that they’ve been diagnosed with OCD, would you really know what that they’ve been struggling with?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is defined by the NIMH as a disorder “… in which a person experiences uncontrollable and recurring thoughts (obsessions), engages in repetitive behaviors (compulsions), or both.” If that sounds simple, it’s because it is.
When it comes to OCD, there is no built-in need for perfectionism – there is only a tendency to experience uncontrollable and upsetting thoughts and to perform compulsions in an attempt to stop them. The thoughts, often called “intrusive thoughts,” can be about anything from the fear that you are going to lose control and hurt your family to an unexplainable feeling that if you don’t comply with a certain superstition, something awful will happen. There is no intrinsic link to a need for cleanliness or organization.
I developed symptoms of OCD when I was only 13 years old – and my room stayed as messy as it always had been. What did change, though, was much scarier.
I started to have inexplicable and uncontrollable thoughts of sex, bigotry, and violence. I spent hours every day in my own head, trying to figure out what these thoughts meant and if they were what I really believed, often repeating the same mantras to myself and reviewing the same memories countless times.
In other words, I performed compulsions – but of course, I didn’t know that’s what they were yet.
I hoped that it was a symptom of the isolation that came with COVID – but as quarantine ended and I entered high school, it didn’t stop. Still, I didn’t tell anyone. I was too scared of exposing my intrusive thoughts – what I thought at the time were some secret, dark desires that I had simply been denying myself.
This continued until the summer before my junior year.
I was scrolling social media, trying to distract myself, when I stumbled across a community dedicated to discussing their experiences with OCD. And to my surprise, these particular experiences weren’t about constant hand-washing or a need for things to be symmetrical- they were shockingly similar to my own.
Seeing people discuss struggling with the same things I did gave me the courage I needed to finally talk to my parents about seeking professional treatment. And while the journey was rocky – you could say it got worse before it got better – this moment of connection was what led me to eventually get diagnosed.
Since then, I’ve wondered: How many people out there are struggling, like I was, with a mental health disorder that they have no way of knowing about? How long will they suffer if we don’t spread awareness?
The answer is troubling: People with OCD will spend an average of nine years seeking treatment before they receive a correct diagnosis.
Due to my personal experience, I strongly believe that an educated community willing to speak out about OCD, how commonly it’s misperceived, and how it actually functions is instrumental to lowering this number and improving the lives of thousands.
I urge you to learn about the realities of OCD and talk to your loved ones if they open up to you about similar symptoms.
If we don’t – no one will.
Editor’s note: This opinion piece is one of several from students at Helix Charter High School for a project in an English 120 class. Students are asked to perform a social advocacy action for an issue they are passionate about and give a speech on it. This piece was written by student Peyton Kertson. Top photo credit: Pixabay.com
